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The Difference

“And the song, from beginning to end, I found again in the heart of a friend.”                                                            Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


From a day in February, 2012…

“How are you?” she asked quietly, her eyes seeking.

My breath caught in my throat. I waited for the reaction I normally have when people ask me that question…for a shiver to travel down my spine, a cringe to shudder my body, for the gritting of my teeth. I waited, but nothing happened. Surprised, I looked up to meet her eyes.

“How are you?” she repeated, nodding her head, encouraging me to speak.

How are you…I thought…she didn’t stress the “are.”

It was such a simple difference–her voice, versus everyone else. Her voice was smooth and genuine and soft. It contained no lilt, no inflection, no drama alluding to how “terrible” my situation must be. She wasn’t working hard at all to convey sympathy or understanding. That was because, her voice…it didn’t need me to answer. It already knew what I could and couldn’t put into words.


I nodded clumsily, stupidly…could barely speak. The tears that sprang to my eyes surprised even me.



It had just been so long since someone had asked me that question without requiring an answer.

She took my hand and gave it a squeeze. And I knew, as I drove away, that her son would have been twenty-six this year…if he had lived.

Thank you for “sharing” and “liking” any blog that moves you. Have a special day…♥

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Just living is not must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower. ~Hans Christian Andersen

I am a mother, a blogger and the author of the memoir Pitter-Pat: A Mother's Journey from Loss to New Life. I am currently in training to be a life coach through Martha Beck's Wayfinder Life Coach Training Program. I write about grief, love, and the beauty of new beginnings. My other interests are meditating, walking outside and doing pretty much anything that brings me closer to nature.


  1. Bev Donner
    February 10, 2018

    Brings tears to my eyes

    • awakeningwildflower
      February 10, 2018

      I realize that so many people have lost a child, but it is helpful to find a “sister” in all of it. Makes the journey less lonely.

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